I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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