i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
