You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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