its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize