Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
4 words: hood of his car
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
