The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize