This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Drunk is not a location!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
