I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Bring me that man meat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
