she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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