sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
