This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I love having hate sex.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
