He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I need to align my fucking chakras
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