haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
