Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
