Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
