So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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