flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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