Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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