Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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