At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think your dad took our porno
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
