What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
