I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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