I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
