I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
be right there i have to get my cape
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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