White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
