Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
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You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
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Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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