There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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