then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
