Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
