she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
