i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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