I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
