I heard we made out
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
