I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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