I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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