Having a random hookup so left but love u
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
