that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I AM VODKA MAN
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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