Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
