we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
