Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
