SEEEEXXX PLEASE
well you can't waste a boner
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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