As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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