i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
