I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
