Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
