you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
