We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
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Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
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Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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