Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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