It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
