She said her name was "party"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize