So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My dick has a subreddit
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
