my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
