6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
