Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
