I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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