but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Apparently you make a good broom.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
