i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
