yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
it's great music for shaving your balls
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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