Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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