take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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