Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
