Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
