She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I need to calm my uterus...
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